Friday, April 23, 2010
I was asked to write a letter to my oldest daughter Brianna a couple of weeks ago. My ex wanted me to write to her in preparation for a retreat she attended. She is in middle school and even though I eventually would split from Valerie (her mom) I still saw Brianna every other weekend. I would go on to marry a girl with a name that had the same letter in the alphabet "V" ( Something about me and women whose name start with the letter V!) Veronica and I have three daughters but that is a story in itself. I have to refer you to some of my early blog posts!
I avoided writing about this topic for a while. I have always wanted to write about my feelings about my oldest daughter. I know the circumstances of my breakup with Valerie (her mom) were a little out of the ordinary. This "bad breakup" kept my defenses up for a long time. It was not only until recently that I was able to let my guard down on this topic and express my true feelings for Brianna in my letter. In my letter to Brianna I expressed how much of a beautiful girl she is and how much she looks like me. I also told her how my work schedule interfered with me getting to spend more time with her. I also told her that I loved her very much and that I hoped that my schedule in the future would allow us to spend more time together.
At the retreat the priest and Brianna read my letter together. When Brianna came home from the retreat she told my ex that I am still a bit of a mystery to her. As mentioned earlier I have spent time with Brianna ever since she was a baby. She comes over on weekends and spends Saturdays and Sundays with us. I work almost every Saturday so it is hard for me to spend a lot of time with her. On Sundays when I am home my two little daughters take up a majority of my time and demand attention. But Brianna I promise that I will be spending more one on one time with you and hopefully together we can unlock the mystery of your daddy as soon as possible..